Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Randomize
