he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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