I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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