Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize