kristin has been a bad kristin
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize