o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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