There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
