Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i will never coherently bang her
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize