so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
