Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
