There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
