I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The power of my boobs compel you
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
