The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize