Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
