Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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