They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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