i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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