did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
