I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
