i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Sorry about my life...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
