But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
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There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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