i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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