He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
