It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
