it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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