Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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