I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
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