...so i touched it.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
