Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
