i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
