Yo dont text me then not text me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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