So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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