he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
