If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
