God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize