There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
