You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
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did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
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I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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