My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You are a genius and a whore.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize