i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
