you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
