before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
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Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
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Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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