Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
MIDGETS
????
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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