That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
