My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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