apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize