I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
