Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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