I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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