Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
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I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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