You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
