He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
