Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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