I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
