We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
