So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
