Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
