I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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