Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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