they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
