dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
