Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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