my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
