Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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